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Life Groups
L.I.F.E. Groups ... "Living In Faith Effectively."
What is a L.I.F.E. group?
Many of us have experienced friendships that go beyond the initial
stages of trust and safety in something like a HOME group. We have
seen that it's in deeper friendships where God often does His best
transformational work in our lives. So we are building a network
of spiritual friendships, trusting God to use them to work in and
through us. These are groups of no more than 5 men or women who
commit themselves to build long lasting relationships that help
one another grow in their ability to experience and express God's
love.
The goal is to create friendships where we
are ...
Living ... This is the place to talk about what's REALLY happening
in our lives, in our everyday struggles to be actually LIVING by
grace for Christ. Therefore, honesty about our struggles is given
and received with an understanding that through Christ "God
loves us just the way are, but loves us too much leave us there."
In Faith ... Scripture guides our purpose and plans for life together,
so we help each other understand how to TRUST in what He says and
HOPE in what He promises. Prayer is authentic and offered by each
person in a way that is personal, relevant, and reverent. Our growth
comes not by producing something in our lives, but by responding
to what He is producing in us through the gift of His Son.
Effectively ... Without predictable support, encouragement and accountability,
we tend to "spin our wheels" and see very little real
change in our hearts. Friends need to be courageous enough to give
and receive loving correction, helping each other live the life
that God wants for us, a life of deep commitment to Him and real
joy in Him.
How do they work?
Although there is no formal agenda for the groups there are essential
elements that help keep these groups purposeful.
* Commitment - this cannot be a casual, "come when you can"
kind of group. Everyone in the group must make it a top priority.
If people are "in and out" of the group all of the other
elements become impossible to build.
* Confidentiality - In order to make this a safe place, nothing
at all should be repeated. This includes spouses.
* Character - The struggles that we share should not always, or
even mostly, focus on the circumstances of our lives which are beyond
our control. These groups are focused on growth, specifically to
be more like Jesus in every way possible.
* Christ - Jesus Himself is the beginning and end of what we are
doing together. That's why the motto "Growing Christ in one
another by being Christ to one another" says it all.
How is this different from a HOME group?
Very. HOME groups are for the initial stages of building relationships
and discussions about God and life. HOME Small groups are open to
new people and visitors and spend lots of time in social activities.
LIFE groups are for building long lasting spiritual friendships,
and therefore spend most of the time in focused discussion on personal
areas of growth. Confidentiality is a foundational element of LIFE
groups.
Why can't we have more people?
Although some of us are comfortable with others, we all have different
comfort levels. In order to accommodate more reserved and private
people the groups must stay small. The chemistry of a group will
completely change with the addition of even one person.
Why are they gender exclusive?
Many of the difficulties that we face are sensitive and extremely
personal. In order to accommodate this, men should meet with men
and women with women. There is also the issue of struggles within
a marriage that partners will only share without their spouse present.
What should we use to study?
This is up to the group, but within limits. A great starting book
is John Ortberg's The Life You've Always Wanted. The group should
only use these books along with an understanding that everyone is
daily reading the Bible.
How often should we meet?
In order for the groups to work well, they should meet at least
twice a month.
Final Note
There are two extremes that we need to avoid. On the one hand, we
do not want the groups to become only support groups. We will talk
about our problems always in light of God's progress in our lives
towards personal Christ-likeness. On the other hand, this is not
boot camp. There has to be flexibility and room for each session
to be informed and directed by the difficulties of our lives. This
is where leaders need to wise in guiding these groups.
Some Practical Suggestions
* If you are meeting at a coffee shop or restaurant, go out to
a car for your time of prayer and sharing.
* Spend the first few sessions listening to each other's life stories.
Have each person take one entire session telling their life story.
* Remember to have fun together.
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